m-m-m-mmmisty (jelly_donut) wrote in db_chronicles,

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okay...this is officially the creepiest e-mail i have ever received:

Hi misty
I am a 21 yr old guy.i am very lonely and don’t have any
body close to me to talk about my desires.i found ur id on yahoo profiles.as i am very lonely i engage myself in masturbation to get rid of this lonliness.but u know its also a lonely activity.i cant share my feelings during masturbation with anybody.I hope u masturbate too.
so r u ready to describe or share our experiences during masturbation.then i atleast get somebody to share these things with.basically masturbation has become a major part of
my life and i cant live without it.i cant share these things with my friends.so will u share it with me?we can talk about other aspects of our life also.if u r ready to talk,then in ur reply send me how u would like to see a guy masturbate,say me.
i would follow ur tips,it would make my experiences better!i can also send u tips for masturbation,and u will like them.u give me some detailed tips starting from opening up my
trousers....reply quickly.plz be my friend!!take care.bye.
i had an orgasm seeing ur pic!!

EWW! isn't that fucking disgusting/retarded? neither broken english nor desperation turn me on, dude. i just deleted this e-mail after having a good, hearty laugh. (and doing the old copy/paste to share with ya'll of course.)

ugh. shudder. shiver.
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